I hope you know how much I loved you. It feels like part of you might, if you could believe, if you could only trust me. I know I didn’t say it nearly enough, but this ain’t no unrequited love poem. I loved you! I really did!
We didn’t have a lot of time together, and you know a lot of the time we had was complicated. It was never just me and you. I wish we could have had a time when it was just me and you, without worry, without frustration. Dancing in the kitchen, cooking together. How we’d laugh!
Yes, I did love you. Once upon a time.
I still think about you. Every time I hear an old country song. Some people leave an impression upon you and it just lasts, years, a lifetime, forever. And you are one of those people for me. It doesn’t matter how little time we had in this life. I think we’ve known each other forever. I recognised your soul the first time I saw your face and heard your voice. We go way back, me and you. And we’ll always be connected.
I am thankful we met. We had our season in the sun. I’m so thankful to have had any time at all. That’s all you can do, just be thankful for the memories and trust things ended the way it was intended. Wishing that money hadn’t mattered so much to you, wishing for more time together alone … these things no longer matter. We had our time, it was full of emotions, it was exciting and new, explosive and sweet, up and down, around and around … and when it was time to move on, the universe dropped a wedge and forced us to move on. There’s nothing wrong with that. A new season began, is all.
In a past life, maybe we had more time. In a future life, maybe we will have more time. But for right now there is only this life and we had our time. Ours alone. Because even if I could speak of you to my family and friends, they never knew you, they would never understand. The memory of you is mine alone, visible only in the small smile that crosses my lips when I am reminded of you.
Drinking: chai tea
Listening To: That’s What Cowboys Do, Garth Brooks
Hair: Beyond anything I’ve seen before