… for I have sinned. It has been three long days since I have blogged …
I went up home Thursday evening to spend the weekend and be the Maid of Honour in a friend’s wedding. It was a small church ceremony with a little gathering at their home after. They have been together for 25 years and have a grown daughter and teenage boys. They were engaged for four years. So this wedding was a long time in the making and not filled with any question or bets on how long they’d be together. They’ve already lasted a lifetime and they still wanted to marry each other. Lots of ups and downs along the way, but they stuck together and got through. I think that’s the testament to making a relationship last, being able to grow together through thick and thin.
I ended up staying all night at their house. I met a couple of their friends from work and we sat up talking and drinking until well after everyone’s bedtime. I laughed so hard and so much that my sides literally ached yesterday and my cheeks were sore. Laughter is a good medicine. I had been a little nervous about the day. I was surprised when I was asked to be a part of the ceremony because I hadn’t spent any time with them in quite awhile. And none since everything fell apart in my own marriage. Years have passed without a peep from me while I grieved. And since I have returned from that little jaunt, things haven’t been all that great for me in social situations. I haven’t been able to blend back in very well in some places where I thought I would fall right back. You miss things. People change. People grow closer to others in your absence. It feels like there’s no room for you to get back in. It’s been sometimes frustrating and other times sad for me to realize that maybe you really can’t go home again.
So I was a bit nervous and worried because I was even more estranged from these friends than others who I have spent time with and felt out of place despite never even thinking that was even a possibility. But it was all good. There are some friends that you might not see for many years, but when you do visit it’s just like you saw them yesterday. You just pick up where you’ve left off and it’s easy and natural. I am blessed to have a couple of friends in Toronto like that too. And maybe I should give those other social situations another chance. Maybe it wasn’t them, but me, who had been through the wars and wasn’t ready to be in certain social situations again. Maybe you can go home again and I just didn’t give it enough time.
I had a really good weekend over all. I got to spend some time with a few of the nieces. I got to hang out and have coffee, pancakes, and bacon on my sister’s porch. I got to sit in the sun on my parents deck and drink tea. I even got some work done. And finally last night I got to speak with my boyfriend for more than a few minutes and find out how things are going out west. Two thumbs up so far! He loves the work and is enjoying all the people he’s working with. So once again, life is beautiful. I shall savour every moment.