christmas

Fly Day

New Year's Eve photo by Jules Keenan.

New Year’s Eve photo by Jules Keenan.

Tomorrow is Fly Day for my other half. Another excursion west, another six weeks or so of work. This morning we are taking the bus to Fredericton, staying at the Ramada overnight to be rested for his early morning flight (Air Canada to Montreal, Montreal to Edmonton, Business Class because that was all we could get).

Already life is starting to resume something that looks semi normal. I am up early. I have hooked up the Wii Fit and am ready to begin some form of regular activity.

First order of business upon my return home tomorrow afternoon is to take down the Christmas tree. I wanted to wait until he was gone before I eliminated all signs of Christmas, though he doesn’t seem like a big holiday person anyway,  it’s more for me. Maybe I will leave it up another week, until BFF and I have finally exchanged gifts. Then I will gladly shove this Christmas back into the box and the history books. It was stressful and chaotic and really not very pleasant. Maybe that is just the way Christmas is going to be from now on. Maybe the days of quiet relaxing holidays are just gone forever. Maybe next year I’ll just opt out of it all. I can do that, right?

There was a lot of tension over the holidays, a lot of unnecessary fighting. I don’t really know why. Usually it is me who is on a short fuse, but this time I wasn’t alone. He was in a mood before he arrived home. I thought it was just that he got off a couple of days before his flight and it couldn’t be changed, given the Christmas rush, but after he got here it didn’t seem to go away. He was short tempered, like me when I’m having my period. Maybe it didn’t help that I had my period for 20 days of the almost month that he was gone. He’s been out and back a few times now and this was the worse, though every time has been bad for chaos and madness when he is home.

Is this why couples break up? Is this why marriages don’t last? I don’t know. I just know I am sad to see him fly because we just seemed to get to a peaceful place only yesterday … and at the same time I’m kind of looking forward to being on my own again because we just got to a peaceful place yesterday, and one good day in the run of two crazy chaotic weeks and a month of stress and illness before that is just too much.

So once again I hope for the best as I prepare to put him on a plane. I hope we communicate effectively while he is gone (because we have had issues with him not phoning me regularly). I hope we stay connected (because we have had issues with me feeling disconnected). I hope we have a smooth transition when he returns (because it has always been … insane chaos, for lack of better term). I hope I thrive personally while he is away.

So far, the walking 2015 km in 2015 thing hasn’t really took off … I have been a slug … Day 3 has begun and I only got 1.5 km in the first two days … BUT I can still do this, I just haven’t started yet.

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