…continued from Part I…
Our movies had to be back by 4:30pm on Saturday, but since we weren’t ever going to watch them and Jay wanted to go souvenir shopping, we walked back to the main office/ gift shop early in the afternoon. The gift shop clerk/ video rental lady was in her 60’s, with horn rimmed spectacles perched on the tip of her nose, and terse like an old school teacher. She seemed very prim and proper and not extremely friendly. Jay had tried to joke with her the night before and the reception was luke warm at best, he couldn’t even get a hint of a smile. We returned the movies, picked out two more (titles also forgotten because we never watched them) and a souvenir coffee mug with the resort logo on it. We go up to the counter and I’m signing for the movies (Kellie Elder! for the very first time! talk about freaking weird!) when my husband says to the stone cold check-out lady … wait for it … “Where all the pornos at?”
Well, I could’ve just about died! And thought, oh lord, we’re gonna get kicked out of here and banned from the gift shop. But nooooo, little mrs prim doesn’t even miss a beat, just says matter of factly, “They’re in a box behind the counter.” And produces a very organized and detailed list of what is available. As I slid away from the counter and back in amongst the knickknacks, my husband is yelling out titles to me and asking me which one I want. Right about then another couple goes up to the cash to pay for their stuff and he’s asking them which one they’d recommend. Everyone’s laughing and making a joke out of it except Mrs. Prim and me. Finally I just went over to him, told him to pick out whatever he wanted and got us out of there. That’s my crazy hun, trying to embarrass me. Yep, I was a little embarrassed, that’s for sure.
The porno cost us $6, adult films are not included in the free movies for guests deal. They actually had some karma sutra, how to erotic massage your partner, type titles that might have been interesting and fun, but of course that is not what immediately drew my hunny’s attention. I don’t remember the exact title, something like Filthy Whores Who Love to Suck Cock. It was a VHS tape that had seen better days. The colour was all off and there were lines running through the screen that you might use a tracking button to eliminate if you could find one on a new vcr/dvd combo unit. I couldn’t find one. I would say it was made sometime in the early 80’s. It consisted of a series of women, one after the other, who first stated their name and then said they loved to suck cock … and then they each sucked a cock. I was like, “Sweetie, this is not in the least romantic and it’s not even erotic or anything … this is the last time I let you pick out the porn!”:D
We let the whole tape play, but we didn’t really watch it, we were running in and out and doing stuff. Major waste of $6 just so my hubby could get the chance to embarrass me, lol.
We spent the day just lazing around, swinging on the porch swing, hanging out in the hot tub. Then hun ran out of Sprite so we went back over the hill to the gift shop to try and score some more soda. Luckily the old prune’s shift had ended. There was just a lovely lady at the front desk minding the whole place. They didn’t have any Sprite in the gift shop, but they had some in the employee refrigerator out front. So the nice lady said if we’d buy a Diet Coke from the gift shop for her, she’d trade us for a Sprite. In the meantime there was another employee running around, who was looking after things for a wedding party up the hill in the conference center (the building where the Secret Garden Restaurant was too). She had gone into the gift shop to gather up some stuff. So I sent hun in to get the Diet Coke. I could hear him in there joking and laughing with the girl … who just happened to be tall and blonde and sporting a cowboy hat … I paid for the drink and chatted with the lady at the desk. Hun comes back out … no Diet Coke! Ha! You should have seen how red in the face he got when I was like where’s the soda? He was so distracted by the girl that he totally forgot why he went in there in the first place. Then he was all embarrassed. Payback! 🙂
I pretended to be angry for a few steps back to the cabin, just to scold him, and so he’d tell me how big and ugly her butt was in comparison to mine, lol. But I was just playing with him. I know he looks at girls, but I have no doubt in my mind that he’d never touch one.
On the way up the hill we could hear the deejay music coming from the wedding dance and hun tried to convince me to crash the party with him, be the Owen Wilson to his Vince Vaughn. I was tempted for a second, but figured we’d never get away with it without proper preparation and a list of rules, plus by then I was pretty hungry, so we just went back to the cabin and made dinner.
I forgot to take any dinner pics because I was too ravenous. We really splurged! Ribeyes, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, garlic toast, caesar salad and hun had a lobster tail. For dessert we had some of my birthday cake and peanut butter cup ice cream.
We went to bed a little earlier Saturday night and got up at a decent time Sunday morning. Which was good, because in the contract they said check-out was firm at 11am and we’d get extra charges for checking out late. Hun was a bit severely hung over, so I got to make fun of him turning green as we walked in the hot sun up and and down those hills to breakfast and back. I had everything packed and tidied up lickety-split and we were off.
…to be continued…