Odd weather on the river today. One minute thunder and lightning, the next I’m all fogged in. The higher temperature has been resting in my fingers and hips all week. But it’s dropping now again, so there will be more climate adjustment in my joints and then I should settle in.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. I’ve been really sick with the cold/flu since two Mondays ago. Today I feel like it’s almost gone. Almost. Add to that the arthritis and a bit of seasonal depression, and I’ve been a bit of a sad sack. I haven’t been sleeping very well, tossing and turning for a couple of hours here and there at odd times of the day and night. It hasn’t been uncommon to find me bundled in fuzzy blankets on the futon watching Two and a Half Men reruns at 5am.
Yesterday seemed to be a turning point. I got up early on two hours restless sleep but felt energized. I did laundry, dishes, made a boiled dinner, wrote articles, reviewed articles, edited articles, switched my blog from Blogger to WordPress, talked on the phone for hours, read 25 pages in a book I’m reviewing, watched any tv programming I needed to catch up from the week, watched the movie Evita, sent email, set up interviews, did more dishes, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned out the utility closet, did more laundry, wrote fiction, organized my dvds, searched for books I needed, chatted on MSN, and so it went on. And it all kind of begs the question … was I having a manic episode? Am I manic/ depressive?
It’s not the first time the thought has crossed my mind. I seem to have periods of tremendous productivity followed by periods of almost complete shut-down. Mind you the past couple of weeks I wasn’t completely shut-down, I attended and even chaired meetings, wrote thousands of words, and edited thousands more. But I was tired and sad and getting through took a very large effort. And then I went into hyper overdrive and tried to do everything in one 24 hour period. Today I’m a little sleepy obviously and moving a little slower but my brain is still buzzing with ideas and tasks, the issue seems to be a lack of focus on where to even begin.
Maybe this is just the normal flow of things. I was sick. Now I’m not. Maybe. I wonder if other people cycle from one extreme to the other.