The day was half over before I looked at the calendar and noticed the date … October 22nd … Happy Anniversary to Me!
On this day nearly 25 years ago I started dating my first serious boyfriend, my high school sweetheart. I remember the months leading up to that date like they were yesterday … wondering who that guy was at Herbie’s pool hall … wondering who that guy was at the Exhibition … finding out who that guy was with my friend at the school dance. I remember what happened before we got together, but I remember nothing of the first date itself. Was the first night the rainy one with him shivering, soaked, in my parents kitchen? I’m not even sure how it came to be. I remember the falling in love part. I remember the falling out of love part. I remember some of the stuff that happened in the middle, but the very first date totally eludes me. I guess it didn’t really matter in the scheme of things. For sure it no longer matters in any way shape or form.
Over 20 years ago I started dating my most serious boyfriend, my college sweetheart. Yeah, same day. Kinda weird. A double Happy Anniversary to me! His memory presents itself a little differently. I remember the first date, the second, the third … I remember the first six weeks, in freakish detail. I could give you a blow by blow accounting. The first break-up can still bring a tear to my eye when I’m feeling particularly nostalgic. It was like something from a movie. And the getting back together is etched in my memory. The second break-up is fuzzy. And I wish I could forget all the stuff after because it was so unpleasant.
It’s a little weird. Most days I forget why I’ve gone into the kitchen by the time I get there. I struggle with people’s names and birthdays. I’m not very good at remembering song lyrics or names of bands or lines from movies. I never know what day it is. I couldn’t tell you what happened last week … yet these useless memories stick by me forever.
It’s been the coldest day yet in my apartment without heat. At one point I put on gloves. It snowed outside. I’ve been feeling a little down all day. Hard to say why exactly, perhaps a combination of all these things. I wish I had brandy.
Listening To: doors slamming in the hall