Sitting in bed, sipping coffee, about 9:15 on a sunshiny morning, Corrie on the set, Blanche actually willing to part with her life’s savings, Jason actually undertaking some responsibility, audrey embracing being second best, ches trying to take that monstrous dog on the bus to liverpool, and it hits me. it starts in my stomach and works slowly up through my chest causing my heart to flutter and sputter as it passes into my throat. is it excitement? panic? is this what joy feels like? or maybe loneliness? i don’t want to miss the rest of the shows and they’re on for another 45 minutes yet, but it’s all i can do to stay put. there’s lots of time, i tell myself. no need to rush, i say. ah, but it’s sunday, and on sunday i can’t be reasoned with. when the flutter spreads from my throat and lands in my brain it’s all over, i can no longer hear the lines, follow the plot. my brain is preoccupied with lists. first i’ll check email, then i’ll load my mp3 player with new music for the week. i must do dishes and laundry. i want to sweep, mop and vacuum. i should clean the bathtub. i think i’ll clean the windows. i want to go for a walk. i need to get organized for the week work-wise, make a plan in the dayplanner. i want to edit some stories and put them up online. i should write a column. i should work on the play. i need to call mom about that question i had. oh, i’ve got to hang that picture. there’s supper to think about, and breakfast and lunch before that. i need to make interview questions. i’m going to lose both monday and tuesday this week, need to compensate for that. if i finished writing those two things and edited some of the quick stuff, maybe i’d be ahead of the game. i want to blog. i want to read blogs. i want to tidy my bedroom. i should do some exercises. should i do an italian lesson today? maybe i should make those motivational tapes. the sun is so nice, i should go outside. do bears wander the cove in daytime? should i fill the mp3 player before or after a walk. should i put on lighter sheets or is this weather going to hold? oh, i need to respond to those people’s questions. and i need to remember to do that thing. i’ll have to make a list. yes, i’ll make a list first. no, first i’ll blog, i’m bursting to type. then i’ll make a list. then i’ll start the laundry. then the dishes. mustn’t leave the walk too late. ok, so i’ll walk first. right after i blog and make the list and load the mp3 player. is someone smoking? is something burning? oh dear, is corrie over? what happened? and i’m off. another manic sunday.
Listening To: north american dream, nathan wiley
Hair: pulled back