These Dreams

And the dreams continue. Gawd! It’s hard to get any real rest when everyone you’ve ever met in your life and many you haven’t decide to drop into the middle of your brain and share their deepest most meaningful stories. Bah! In one of the numerous dreams from last night I was visiting with a long lost friend. I was in Toronto on business (BnM magazine biz fyi) and I ran into him on the street by my hotel, went back to his apartment for coffee and a catch up. Sitting on the floor looking through photo albums of all the places he’d been because he had been travelling a lot since I last saw him, working in the foreign press or something. Came across a photo of him and a girl in Morocco. I couldn’t believe who it was, a girl I had been good friends with once upon a time but lost touch. Just as I started to say something I looked at him and he was all glassy eyed as he told me about this woman he had met and fallen deeply in love with and how she had been killed by rebels. I felt so sad. Overwhelming grief caught in my throat.

Then the scene faded into black and the next thing I knew I was running along a nearly deserted cobbled street in London, racing along in early morning grey, still choking on grief from having seen the picture of my friend and learning of her death. At a white door with a glass window I punched the buzzer and bounced on the balls of my feet impatiently as I waited to be let inside. It was chilly and damp, and I wore a black wool jacket and I burrowed inside covering my chin. An ex-boyfriend appeared in the window with a furrowed brow and steel eyes that said, oh God, what the hell are you doing here? He hesitated debating whether to just draw the blind and ignore me or to let me in, and then he opened the door. Before he could say anything I sprang at him, kissing, hugging, tangling my fingers in his hair, pushing my grief away and into him. He was momentarily surprised but then responded, picking me up and carrying me to his bed, where we buried ourselves in the blankets and I tried to lose myself in passion.

I woke up with just my eyes poking out from under my blankets. Frost warning last night. I had put on extra blankets and they paid off, my room was cold but I was cozy in my bed. Everyone is having dreams these past weeks. I thought it was the moon but maybe it’s something else. I don’t mind dreaming. I go crazy if I don’t dream. But the vividness and intensity is a bit much. So tiring. I feel tired most of the time. Maybe it’s just the changing season. I don’t know, but something’s definitely got hold of me and I’m not the only one.

Mood: a wee foggy
Drinking: coffee, french pressed, black
Listening To:Damien Rice – Smile
via FoxyTunes
Now playing: Neko Case – That Teenage Feeling
via FoxyTunes
Hair: something’s gotta give

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