birds

Picked Up a Day

Tabu Trip called on account of snow/freezing rain. Whew! It’s better to do a road trip on a bright sunshiny day, you feel better about the place, the place feels better about you. And I was starting to super-stress for home time, so this is kind of a blessing. I need to go domestic for a good day here and get back on track. Been WAY too busy with work and writer crap. Have list, will knock ’em off one at a time.

I am enthralled with all the birds outside my window. And they’re not even all here yet! I can’t wait for things to go green and for actual water to be flowing past my door.

Went to bed early last night and actually got in some sleep before midnight. Slept late too. I woke many times, could have easily got up anytime after 4:30, but I stuck to it until nearly 8. I’ve been so drug out, I needed a serious battery recharge if I’m going to get through the month without total collapse.

Fuzzy dreams of the past last night. Things that already happened. People no longer in my circle. (Can I get a “Praise Jesus!” on that?) Woke up with a serious case of the “what-ifs” not in any kind of melancholic or regrettable way, but just a pondering. What if I had gone to Alberta? Either time? What if I had married any of the guys who asked? What if I had gotten pregnant when I was 14? Or 19? Or 27? What if I had gone over my head in the river? What if the gun went off? What if I had hit my head just a little bit harder? What if the car ran off the road? . . . Life could have been so different, so many times . . . if I had taken any of those other paths would the road have eventually still brought me back here? That’s what I call a philosophical awakening.

Mood: fair to middling
Drinking: coffee, lots and lots of cream
Listening To: upstairs cutie waking & going through his morning routine
Hair: out of my eyes for the moment

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Categories: birds, dreams, sleep, the river, trips

1 reply »

  1. Welcome to wherever you are
    This is your life, you made it this far
    Welcome, you got to believe
    That right here right now you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be

    He says it best!

    Like

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