I am Frank and Frank Must . . .

I dreamed I had a stalker. Guy I went to school with. He always repulsed me. And I dreamed he was stalking me and had threatened to do something to the kids if I didn’t give him some time. And I decided (rather than call the police and report him) I would take matters into my own hands. So I invited him over to my parent’s house, which was not their house really, but a Cape Cod style on the coast. My parents, sisters, brother-in-laws, and children were all out back at the marina on board a huge sailing boat/tall ship that they were getting ready for sea. Scrubbing, painting, patching holes in nets and sails. Everyone was younger. My parents, my sisters, even the kids. There were only three of them and they were just toddlers. I warned them I had invited him over and told them to stay out of the house, keep the kids especially away from him, and not to worry about me. I’d fix this. He showed up early, wearing a brown suit, carrying a bouquet of flowers, hair slicked back, cheshire grin. He just walked into the kitchen behind me without knocking or warning. Found me at the stove stirring a sauce, wearing faded old jeans and a blue plaid snap shirt untucked. No make-up, hair pulled back off my face un-styled. A wave of disappointment crossed his face. He expected more. A little black dress, strappy sandals, a flushed face, gleaming head of hair. “Hi,” he said. “I thought we were going out.” My smile tight and thin, “I thought we’d stay in.” Poison in the sauce. I intend to eliminate him. Poison his sorry ass then toss the body off the ship when we take her out tomorrow. But even as I’m stirring the sauce and thinking about the task at hand I have a premonition of him and the children. I know he’s got the kids. I whip around, wooden spoon raised, to find his grin, a devilish twinkle in his eyes. “I thought you might feel that way,” he says. “I took the liberty of precautions to ensure we’ll not be disturbed.”

And then I wake-up. And I’m still tired, but I know this dream is going nightmarish pretty quickly. If I close my eyes I’ll go back there and have to deal with him and whatever the hell he’s done. And most likely there will be nothing I can do to stop whatever hideous stuff is going to happen. So even though I’ve only been asleep for 3 hours and I’m exhausted still, even though I should stay horizontal for at least another 2 hours if I want any wits about me in the real world. My feet hit the floor and I rise to meet the day.

Mood: overwhelmed
Drinking: coffee, with cream
Listening To: fingers clacking across the typewriter
Hair: washed recently, tho you’d never know it

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