Awake in Darkness

Another 4:30am wake-up call. I actually stayed horizontal until 5 but I might as well have gotten up, I was awake. I think my usual Sunday Night Anxiety that I’ve suffered for as long as I can remember and perhaps all of my life, has evolved into an early Monday morning rising. This is much more productive! This is some good stuff going on! What a way to get the jump on the week! Actually it was last Tuesday morning that I awoke at 4:30, Monday was a standard 6am thing, still I believe this is progress. A shift of some sort. In summertime there will dawn in these early hours instead of night darkness. That’s an exciting prospect.

Yesterday was a bit of a lost day. A little cranky crampy time settling in. Still, I did some work, wrote nearly all of one my regular bnm columns. My mother called a whopping two or three times, which NEVER used to happen. I have to measure my windows so she can pick me up curtains at Value Village in Moncton tomorrow when she goes. If she runs across any that are appropriate. Solid colours. No prints. Rich colours, or bright. Deep purple, not mauve. Navy blue. Forest green. Burnt orange. Brick red. That sort of thing. I’m not much for pastels. I like solid, firm, not flakey. And I need something thick to keep the cold out in winter and the sun out in summer. I think they’ll find me some. If not, then my own personal Great Curtain Hunt of 2007 begins this week. I need to go to the Salvation Army and look around, while my brother still works there, while I’ve still got an in. Also need to look at the boxspring and end table situation. They deliver! This is helpful.

So yesterday I watched The Bourne Identity followed by The Bourne Supremacy with my boy, Matt Damon. I do love Matt Damon! He was so the brains in that whole Ben/Matt duo thing they had going on. Ben is kookier and funnier than Matt, but the Damon is the serious talent. He was so good in The Departed! Have you seen it yet? You need to see it. That’s a seriously good movie. Anyway, I’m a fan of the Bourne movies. They’re a lot of fun. So I spent my day watching them between phone calls and satisfying cravings with junk, and then I drifted off on the futon for a few hours and then I got up and moved to the bedroom around 10pm. And then I woke up every couple of hours and couldn’t believe how long the night was, until finally we got to 4:30 and the jig was up, my goose was cooked, I couldn’t abide being in bed any longer.

I noticed one of my neighbours from upstairs leaving the building as I got up. Going to her car. Leaving for work. Must be a nurse maybe. Works long shifts wherever she goes, you never see her car in the lot during the light of day.

And now it is 6’ish and I need to get started on work for real.

Mood: alert
Drinking: coffee with cream
Listening To: hmm. i actually opened i-tunes this morning, but didn’t start it. perhaps i’m enjoying the quiet? on a subconscious level that i’m not even aware of.
Hair: getting washed today. also should get dyed soon, major roots going on

Categories: apartment, movies, sleep

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