Cars one night, something else the next. And the dreams continue. Last night’s dream theme was definitely exes. In the first dream, my high school sweetheart came to visit me here in Sackville. Odd for him to show up. In the dream we were teenagers again and wild and impulsive (well, I was wild and impulsive at least, you know him, he was always trying to reign me in). It was actually good to see him, to talk about foolish things, to make-out in public like the teenagers we were and not care what people thought of us. It was a butterflies in the stomach type of dream, like the first time I saw him in the spring, like that first fall we were together. Oh to be young and in love! Without all the crazy hormonal teenage angst mood swings and drama. But to hold that one moment in 1983 when we were perfect and stretch it to eternity, that’s something, that’s what this dream felt like.
In the next dream I found myself at the Long Branch GO Station, waiting for the train to Union Station, where I would catch the VIA Ocean train to New Brunswick. I had just missed the last GO Train and had to wait for an hour or so for the next one. Then Kevin showed up. This dream was not as playful, not as freeing. No butterflies. Which in its own way is kind of odd because all the best butterfly dreams centre around Kevin usually (or Jon Bon! lol). The feeling of this dream was . . . dread is probably the best word. I dreaded seeing him. I had hoped to get away before he got there. He wanted me to meet a girl, his new girlfriend. She seemed pleasant enough, nice actually, down-to-earth, nurturing, the kind of woman who would make a good wife and mother. And he seemed so happy. They looked good together. I was happy for him of course, but also sad. I could tell they were going to last, that we were really over. And this realization hurt me some. I woke up a little bit sad, took awhile to shake it off.
I also dreamed about the boy who took me to my junior prom, the boy I worked with at the pet store, the boy I worked with in Moncton, and numerous other cuties that I haven’t thought about in years. Obviously, the spring weather has driven me a little boy crazy. Maybe I need to go out and find a real one. Yeah, that thought knots my stomach up pretty damn quick. Maybe another day then.
Listening To: traffic, birds, wind, kids playing, all the sounds of spring
Hair: loosely knotted